In life, we often find ourselves at a crossroads where we know what we want to achieve, yet something seems to hold us back. It might be the weight of chronic illness, the cloud of negative emotions, or the relentless barrage of anxious thoughts. Whatever form it takes, this sense of being stuck can be paralyzing, leaving us overwhelmed and frustrated. So how do we stay motivated when sickness or emotions seem to pull us in the opposite direction of our goals?

One client's experience sheds light on this struggle. "I always knew I needed to take better care of myself," she shared, "but every time I tried to start an exercise routine, my anxiety would kick in, and I'd end up on the couch, feeling defeated." This cycle of wanting to make a change but feeling unable to do so is a familiar tale for many.

The Battle of "Shoulds" and "Wants"

Imagine sitting down with a pen and paper, ready to jot down your goals for the week. The list quickly fills up with "shoulds" – pay bills, clean the house, make those important calls. Yet, when asked what you truly want to do, the list shifts – spend time with family, take a leisurely walk, indulge in a hobby. This conflict between "shoulds" and "wants" can create a mental tug-of-war, leaving us torn between obligation and desire.

One powerful strategy is to reframe these "shoulds" into "wills." Instead of viewing tasks as burdensome obligations, we can attach meaning and importance to them. For example, paying bills isn't just about financial responsibility; it's about ensuring comfort, security, and peace of mind. Similarly, taking medication isn't merely a routine task; it's a step towards better health and the ability to fully engage in life.

The Practice of Willingness

Amidst the whirlwind of emotions or the weight of illness, staying motivated requires a different approach – the practice of willingness. This concept asks us to embrace our experiences, whether pleasant or not, and take action on what truly matters.

Willingness is not about feeling ready or comfortable. It's about acknowledging the discomfort and choosing to act despite it. This means allowing ourselves to feel anxious, sad, or frustrated without letting these emotions dictate our actions.

Imagine holding a feather in your hand. The feather represents an enjoyable task, light and easy to hold. Now, imagine a cactus in your palm – prickly, uncomfortable, yet still manageable. Willingness is about holding the cactus gently, acknowledging its presence without letting it deter us from our path.

A Metaphor for Motivation

Consider the journey of a hiker climbing a steep mountain. Along the way, the path becomes rocky, the air thin, and the ascent arduous. The hiker's legs ache, and doubt creeps in – "Can I really make it to the top?"

Despite the challenges, the hiker presses on, one step at a time. Each step is a choice – a choice to endure discomfort, to overcome obstacles, and to stay focused on the summit. The hiker knows that the view from the top will be worth every struggle, every doubt, and every moment of discomfort.

In the same way, staying motivated amidst illness or emotional turmoil is a journey of resilience and determination. It's about recognizing that the path may be difficult, but the destination – a life aligned with our values and aspirations – is worth the effort.

A Final Word

As we navigate the complexities of life, it's important to remember that motivation isn't always about feeling inspired or enthusiastic. It's about making a conscious choice to act on what matters, even when the odds seem stacked against us.

So the next time you find yourself facing the daunting task of paying bills, starting an exercise routine, or managing overwhelming emotions, ask yourself, "Am I Willing?" Embrace the discomfort, hold onto your goals gently like a feather, and take that next step forward on your journey. With willingness and determination, you can overcome any obstacle and move closer to the life you envision.

Exploring how these themes resonate in your own life? Therapy can be a place to unpack, find clarity, and move forward in a way that feels true to you. If you’re interested in seeing how we might work together, here are a few areas I specialize in: Therapy for Women, Therapy for Chronic Illness, Therapy for Body Acceptance.