Your father drank too much. Your mother shamed you. Your last boss was a jerk. You’ve dealt with illness, maybe a tough breakup—whatever the story, you’ve got baggage. Yep, so do I.

We all wish we could just erase the rough parts of our past, or at least find a way to respect how they’ve shaped us without letting them run our lives.

Yet emotional baggage has a funny way of popping up when you least expect it. You might lose your temper at work, give up after a health setback, or self-sabotage relationships. Maybe you eat when you’re stressed, get clingy in relationships, or feel a wave of self-doubt for no clear reason. Sound familiar?

Your inner world might sound something like this: “I don’t deserve to be healthy, so I might as well have another drink.” “Nobody values me, so why value myself?” “If I push myself to be successful, I’ll finally feel secure.” “I’ve been hurt before, so I’ll avoid getting close.”

Most of us have tried to get rid of this baggage in a hundred different ways. We’ve tried diets, joined support groups, made big promises to ourselves. Maybe we dove into therapy, convinced that this would be the year we finally break free. But somehow, no matter how hard we try, that baggage keeps coming back. It’s heavy, and it feels like it’s only getting heavier.

What if the answer wasn’t to get rid of it, but to let it be there?

I know, that sounds backward. But think about it: have past efforts to “unload” your baggage freed you from it completely? Probably not.

If trying to “unload” your baggage isn’t working, and if trying to ignore it only makes it louder, what can you do?

Our minds are always busy trying to protect us, generating thoughts and creating rules to help us avoid pain. Over time, these stories and rules—let’s call them “Don’t-Get-Hurt Stories”—start to run deep, like grooves in a road. And when you keep taking the same mental route, it becomes automatic. You reach for a drink without a second thought. You put up walls in relationships. You second-guess yourself. Over time, it feels like these habits are part of who you are.

But here’s the thing: your mind isn’t broken. It’s just doing its job—trying to keep you safe.

So, what stories does your mind keep telling you? Write them down. Don’t worry if they’re true or not. What matters is if they’re keeping you from the life you want. Imagine what your life might look like if you didn’t act on these stories of doubt, fear, and self-criticism.

Remember the game “Simon Says”? The leader says, “Simon says jump up and down,” and you jump. But if they don’t say “Simon says,” you don’t move. The game teaches a powerful point: you can think one thing and choose to act differently. Your baggage doesn’t have to run your life.

Your thoughts are just thoughts. If you don’t buy into them, they lose their power. Instead of fighting with your baggage, just notice it. Let it be there. Take it along for the ride, but don’t let it steer. You’re in control of where you’re going. Keep walking toward a life that feels full, and let your baggage ride in the backseat.